In American culture, there can be any number of reasons why a bride might not be too "broken up" about leaving her family behind when she gets married and moves in with her husband. Maybe it's because of it being a "love" marriage (versus marriages sometimes being arranged in south Asian families) or because American marriages often occur at a time the bride and groom are no longer living at home with his or her parents or because the bride or groom are not on good terms with his or her parents or because a lot of Americans live together before getting married. At any rate, sometimes in American weddings, the bride and groom are just way too excited to start their lives together and that includes living together.
In contrast, in south Asian culture, the girl is usually pretty sad after the marriage when she's leaving her family to go live with her new husband's family. (I say usually because there are, of course, always exceptions.) Maybe it's because girls there are treated like princesses by their family or because the bride is worried she won't be able to see her own family very often (especially when families come from distant cities) or because the bride feels like there are a lot of unknowns (how she'll be treated in her husband's family's home, if she'll be given any freedom to pursue her own interests (like a job or other things), how the family dynamic will be and how she'll get along with the family, and so on).
In Pakistani tradition, rukhsati takes place immediately following a marriage. Rukhsati is just a fancy word for the time when the bride and groom are leaving to start their life together. It happens at the end of the shaadi function after all the "I do's" have taken place. It happens when the new bride (and groom) leave the wedding function to go home with the groom's family (the bride's new in-laws).
I'm not sure whether this tradition is specific only to Pakistan or Islam. (Maybe this also happens in other religions or in other Asian/south Asian countries? I do know it happens even in Pakistani weddings that take place in the U.S.) In Islamic marriages, the tradition also involves a Qu'ran being placed over the bride and groom's heads while they're walking out of the marriage hall (as a form of blessing).
At that time, the new bride officially goes home with her husband for the first time and becomes a part of her husband's family. From that point forward, she's the responsibility of her new husband (and his family) instead of her parents and her family (as it was when she was growing up and before marriage). (That's not to say that she can no longer see her family anymore (not at all!) ... just that her happiness, safety, and care predominantly falls to her husband and his family.)
Most times, rukhsati ends up taking on a sad tone because the bride is usually in tears as she's walking to the car (and even after sitting down in the car). Sometimes other members of the family (like the bride's mother) start crying too.
Here are a few videos of ruksati for those curious about it. Don't miss the last video--it's hilarious! (Oh, and in case you're wondering, I have no idea who these people are in the videos.)
VIDEO 1: Rukhsati on YouTube (below)
I've seen at least 1 bride who didn't cry during rukhsati...but I've never seen a groom acting like the guy in this next video...hilarious!
VIDEO 2: Watch Husband Carefully , hahahahah on Facebook
In contrast, in south Asian culture, the girl is usually pretty sad after the marriage when she's leaving her family to go live with her new husband's family. (I say usually because there are, of course, always exceptions.) Maybe it's because girls there are treated like princesses by their family or because the bride is worried she won't be able to see her own family very often (especially when families come from distant cities) or because the bride feels like there are a lot of unknowns (how she'll be treated in her husband's family's home, if she'll be given any freedom to pursue her own interests (like a job or other things), how the family dynamic will be and how she'll get along with the family, and so on).
In Pakistani tradition, rukhsati takes place immediately following a marriage. Rukhsati is just a fancy word for the time when the bride and groom are leaving to start their life together. It happens at the end of the shaadi function after all the "I do's" have taken place. It happens when the new bride (and groom) leave the wedding function to go home with the groom's family (the bride's new in-laws).
I'm not sure whether this tradition is specific only to Pakistan or Islam. (Maybe this also happens in other religions or in other Asian/south Asian countries? I do know it happens even in Pakistani weddings that take place in the U.S.) In Islamic marriages, the tradition also involves a Qu'ran being placed over the bride and groom's heads while they're walking out of the marriage hall (as a form of blessing).
At that time, the new bride officially goes home with her husband for the first time and becomes a part of her husband's family. From that point forward, she's the responsibility of her new husband (and his family) instead of her parents and her family (as it was when she was growing up and before marriage). (That's not to say that she can no longer see her family anymore (not at all!) ... just that her happiness, safety, and care predominantly falls to her husband and his family.)
Most times, rukhsati ends up taking on a sad tone because the bride is usually in tears as she's walking to the car (and even after sitting down in the car). Sometimes other members of the family (like the bride's mother) start crying too.
Here are a few videos of ruksati for those curious about it. Don't miss the last video--it's hilarious! (Oh, and in case you're wondering, I have no idea who these people are in the videos.)
VIDEO 1: Rukhsati on YouTube (below)
I've seen at least 1 bride who didn't cry during rukhsati...but I've never seen a groom acting like the guy in this next video...hilarious!
VIDEO 2: Watch Husband Carefully , hahahahah on Facebook
Watch this space or me come July when A leaves to start a new era.
ReplyDeleteI think we both know who's going to be the one crying when that time comes.... ;) Kidding!!
ReplyDeleteMeliha